The fact you have an option for alternative machine work is a blessing. Every shop for 50 miles either direction is booked for 2 years here.
Your idea to upgrade the rods and pistons sounds great.
Hopefully the crank is not damaged from mis-matched caps.
What you don't know, when you drop anything off, is: did the crank got bent or dropped?
Was it straight in the first place?
Bent rods in the 8100 are a real issue.
My Mark VI was looking great until I read the stories on the weak OEM link rods.
Anything you put in there to make more HP bends them like twizlers. The engineering maxxed out the usable OEM HP with minimal rods.
Wish your were available for re-negotiation services, in my neck of the woods.
Receiving your refund, really saved this thread.
Not slagging the shop is class act, as well.
Somebody's getting reamed for that one, for sure.
Good luck with your rebuild.